Cuddle Buddies © Phonte Coleman

It’s come to my attention that some people did not get the memo from Phonte back in 2007 about cuddle buddies.

Trav, you remember the motto: “No cuddle buddies in ’07”. Well, I found the doctrine that all must live by 2008 and beyond, as told by Rev. Phonte Coleman (of LB acclaim). click more to read all about it…

Read ladies take note!! A ****in ‘cuddle buddy?’ Y’all *****s disappoint me yo… Anyways, the night is winding down, and after *****s dusted off bout 50 waings (half sweet-BBQ, half spicy), one chick is like, “Aiiight yall.I gotta go..Im fitna call my cuddle buddy and go back to the dorm.” I looked at her and was like, “Huh? Your cuddle buddy? Does that mean what I think it means?” She just laughed and said, “Yeah..hes just a dude I snuggle and cuddle with when I dont wanna sleep alone…..we dont have sex though.” A few other girls at the table co-signed like, “yeah..I got me a cuddle buddy too..theyre so fun…..” What!?!?!??!? The **** is going on with this generation yo? I cant believe there are *****s in 2007 STILL goin for this bull****!!! Back in my day we used to have guys who were cuddle buddies too…..only back then, we called them ‘PUSSIES!’ Fellas, yall must put an end to this ****. Seriously. I mean, I have much more respect for a ‘**** buddy’ relationship than I do for this cuddle buddy bull****. A **** buddy relationship is a two-way street: she wants some, you want some..yall ****, nut, and both go home happy. A cuddle buddy relationship is some of the most selfish, one-sided **** Ive ever heard of because as a guy, youre basically just relegating yourself to being some broad’s emotional tampon (c)k_orr: soaking up all her fear, loneliness, and insecurities, just so she can pull you by that strang and toss you out to make way for a REAL ***** to come and smash. No thank you, maam. Im good….. See, back when I was sangle, me and my *****s had rules. And the number one rule was to NEVER sleep in the same bed with a girl you aint ****in. I mean, whats the use? Why tune up the strangs, if you aint gon play the song? And for the record, we always had more respect for them ‘**** on the first night’ chicks, than we did for them broads who had all them fears of ‘I dont want him to think Im a ho’ and ****…… The chick who tries to keep fighting her desires when she knows damn well what she wants? Booooooooo *****….get her outta here yo……. To me, that says she’s too worried about social ‘norms’ and too worried about what other people think…..**** that…..Your vaginal levee is weakening and its bout to be a Katrina in yo panties girl…….just give in yo…….. On the other hand, the chick who gives it up on the first night is a hero and a patron saint. Praise that woman for letting you know, she know what she want outta life (c)Dre. For real……fellas, you take that woman home to mama and thank her for all the weeks of bull**** conversation, text messaging, and Cheesecake Factory dinners she’s saved you……and after that first night of sex, yall can really talk to each other as real people cause you aint got **** else to hide.. Like I said, I sometimes weep for this generation..but hopefully this blog will touch a wayward soul whos been led down the fruitless and thankless path of CuddleBuddydom.


2 Responses to “Cuddle Buddies © Phonte Coleman”

  1. 1 thegrip 04/06/2008 at 4:18 am

    oh no you didnt

  2. 2 jlockit 07/11/2011 at 5:43 pm

    This dude is funny as hell. Love it!

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